My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
