Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
