So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We have so much sex to catch up on
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
