U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Who wears a wallet chain?!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
