am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
