Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
