Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
