Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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