marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
