Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
