man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
