Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
