I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
