you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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