Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
