I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
