well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
