Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize
