I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
