So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
