its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish life had little blips of pornography
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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