plz talk dirty to me
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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