You just made me feel so damn special
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
