the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
