He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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