Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
