The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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