nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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