at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
we're so committed to being not committed
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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