BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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