What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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