"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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