I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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