And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
