he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
