you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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