Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
