I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
