38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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