Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
