she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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