If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I love having hate sex.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
