So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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