Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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