Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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