toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
