Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
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