Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
