I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
