My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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