Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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