hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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