Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
