The maid of honor just puked.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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