I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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