sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
