I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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